So I decided to just blog. Do I really need an audience? Maybe not. I wonder how it might feel when the entire world can have a peek into your personal diary. But there are no secrets here. The world is free to read my mind. Unfortunately, not everyone in my family or circle of friends have interest in reading. I get only a very few of those "readers." A comment or two on my posts makes me feel that I do have an audience. I guess I do not need the entire world.
I started blogging even before Facebook was the king of the world. There was a platform in the old Friendster social network. Eventually I joined Google Blogger which was very exciting at that time. Writing was my first intention and I didn't really care about social media. Making money out of my pages was not the priority.
In year 2010, everyone I knew was on Facebook. It was difficult to see photos from occasions without being on the network so I signed up. Blogger did not take a backseat, yet. I created another blog (this blog) which was more general and with which I worked hard to get traffic. I wrote about anything from coffee to restaurant food or just randomly posting photos from my travels. I even joined local blogger organizations and had one opportunity to join a media launch. As an exchange, I talked about them. But then I got confused. What was I really writing about?
I didn't travel too often so I could not be a travel blogger. Though when I do have the opportunity, I talk about them here in my blog. I also do not go out to eat in restaurants every week so I could not talk about food as often as I liked. Reasons for feeling limited could be due to the financial aspect of blogging which no one really talks about. Most things are free in exchange for your wonderful words but I definitely would like to pay for the food and service I talk about so I could be more free in my thoughts. There are always biases when you write about free services because you tend to be kind in your article as a way of paying back. But don't get me wrong, I do not have hatred towards bloggers with this lifestyle. In fact they are living the life! Nonetheless, my blogging life continued.
Most of the time, I blog hopped. That means I read other blogs and left comments. I had a daily feed from my Google Reader so I would know which blog has a new post. Unfortunately, the day Google Reader died, my life changed. There are other tools to manage subscriptions like Feedly and Flipboard but adjustment period took a very long time with respect to how quick a blog post gets published. Eventually, other blogger friends have faded into the abyss. There were no more feeds and I often wondered what has happened to them. But there was one particular blogger I followed and had few comment exchanges. He discovered he had cancer and he stopped blogging when he succumbed to the disease. That is one epic story. I would want to be like that too. I would like to continue writing until I could no longer do it. Because who knew I might have a grave case of dementia and forget about my life. At least I have a blog to read and remind myself. And the challenging part is: Would I actually want to read a blog written by me?
When I left my home country for a job in Singapore, I thought the blogging career would take off. I was very wrong. The ironic part was that while I was there, I had sat in more coffee shops and ate in more restaurants than I thought would be possible. Stress from work and distance from loved ones took a toll on me. I wrote less because even composing my thoughts was very difficult. It was a lot easier to take a sip from my cocktail drink.
My life started to make sense again and went back to blogging. My head was clearer and I realized I could have written about the trips to the zoo or the parks and all the mad-made beautiful places in Singapore. Nothing is ever too late, I guess. But Singapore life lasted only until early this year because I decided to fly to the Middle East to join my husband.
In July of this year, I landed in the city of Dubai for the first time. It was huge and new and glamorous. I couldn't wait to blog about it. And since then I wrote a few things about the city. I expected more people to be reading my blogs but it didn't turn out that way. There are more people watching feeds in Instagram or Facebook. I posted links in Facebook once in a while but often times I only got the blue thumb which I don't really understand what translates to. In real life, it is like talking to someone and just getting a thumb in return. That's sounds like a real conversation ender. But then maybe people are less interested in exchange of ideas and are more interested in becoming mini-celebrities. People get glued more to viral articles sometimes written by unreliable sources or selfies (with no interesting background at most times). How many times do we want to see someone else's face on your digital screen anyway?
All these social media craze made me forgot what I was blogging for. I am actually blogging about my life and I do not expect the world as an audience. This is a journal where I put my hear out and not a quest for fame.