16 July 2015

Unnecessary blabber

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I felt disappointed in knowing that some people will never learn the value of gratitude. The world has become richer I suppose but in turn makes life a little more comfortable and washed away some of the values we used to hold so dear.

When I was in the university hundreds of miles away from home, I lived on a meager allowance from my DOST scholarship which was all I had to pay for my bed space, meals and everything else I had to spend on while I was studying. Sometimes I am lucky that I get other sources from my generous relatives or other undeclared scholarships. During the hardest times, I remembered waking up and realizing that I had nothing in my pocket. I spoke to a friend and told her I couldn't have a meal today. So she asked me to join her so I could eat. Miraculously, I have survived those interesting 5 years in the university on time and embraced the real world at the age of 20.

Unfortunately today, some people I know who live on the margins do not really appreciate the help they are getting. The easy comfort of unlimited Facebook access provided by the large telecom companies does not help them alleviate the problems. Instead, it helps them pretend that life is otherwise. Sometimes, I watch life around me suspend whenever the local TV channel starts the marathon of noon time shows and dramas that last until the end of the day. That I would never understand because I grew up not watching TV because ours was busted for a really long time and because I find other things more interesting and productive to do.

It worries me that most people think we now live in the age of comfort. When I was much younger I used to worry how to feed myself the next day. Now that I in my 30s, I still worry how to feed a household. I sometimes think that I worry a lot but I realized that I only worry reasonably. And to my disappointment, people still continue sitting in the living room with their eyes glued to the TV as if it will make a difference in their lives.

I am not really sure what I am talking about. But sometimes these worries are magnified when you cannot feel the gratitude. I often wonder if I overanalyze things. I probably do. If I don't then this world around me will go haywire.

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