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31 December 2013

Thoughts before the New Year

I admit that it kind of sucks that I am on the train to work today despite the fact that tonight is New Year's Eve. I had no luxury of rolling into my sheets until the sunlight is so bright because I must hit the showers. But I do have the luxury of waking up to new hope and a positive mind. I've had worse and though I try to forget the memories of less liked New Year's Eves, those will be just memories that remind me to be grateful today.

2013 has been a ruckus. I Prefer to call it a roller coaster ride, a whirlpool, a wave that has rolled me on the shores a thousand times while I struggle for air. But the point is that I survived. Not so many people who are drowning in deep ocean gets to swim back ashore. As my late Grandpa Ed told me, luck is always on the side. But deep within the recesses of myself, I feel that the most poignant part of this is prayer.

On the 30th year of my life, my prayers have been reduced to just the Lord's prayer and the ever quotable serenity prayer. I have initially believed in "come what may" and just swimming with the tide but I felt that "Thy Will Be Done" is a more powerful phrase. I have muttered those very words in those nights when I felt lonely and cold and even sometimes when I am outraged.

2013 I would say is the year I finally found my calm. I have always failed in the anger management department and it surprises me to this day what I have become now. Change indeed is surprising.

I hit rock bottom this year. But I am glad to have found pieces of myself among the dirt. Now I am picking them up and hoping to be braver, more optimistic and above all to never give up on things such as love.

1 comment:

  1. "I have always failed in the anger management department and it surprises me to this day what I have become now. Change indeed is surprising." - I had to smile. :) Here's to life's many new beginnings indeed!

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