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20 April 2013

Last Weekend

Last weekend was not perfect but it was the first weekend after my 30th birthday so it does stand out from other weekends I had. I had premeditated and anticipated it. So much for trying to be in control, other fierce things happened without me having power over it like ranging hormones, depressing thoughts and other strong emotions that seemed to came rushing through me all during that week I hit the 30th year of my life.


I was far from drunk on Friday night with sister and friends but I had enough energy from the bar to keep me up all night. And all night until the wee hours of the morning it was. We didn't want to leave after the band's last song. So we hit the streets before the club turn on the day lights and located the nearest open coffee shop. It was also noodles in my mind but the air conditioning and comfortable sofas at Starbucks seem to be more attractive at that time.

We sipped chocolate, coffee and tea - each person to his own desire. Pasta was served hot. The lasagne took the shortest trip from plate to mouth. Meatball pasta was too sour and heavy for most of my company and it was just sitting there barely touched.

We ate and chat until we missed the last trip of the night bus. So we decided to talk more about other things and waited for the first train. I remember the conversation was so random and we even talked about seeing ghosts which was quite scary. My friend who has the "third eye" has gotten used to it now though these things still terrify her. I hope that cup of hot chocolate gave her enough comfort that "night."

We all reached home after sunrise. The trip home felt longer than expected and I fell asleep on the bus. I felt my heavy head and dropped on the bed with the few remaining precious oxygen in my brain. I  curled like a fetus and woke up in the afternoon the next day.

My other friends and I headed to the movies to laugh. The movie was so light, it was all I needed to take a few things off my head. But I left the movie house with a slightly heavy heart wondering if I ever made the right choices. Some things could still wait so I brushed the idea off one side.

The night was young and so we headed out to get a few drinks and chill out. We found this "5-dollar" bar which I would like to call it. The live band was young as the night. She had this soothing voice that was somewhere in between soprano and alto though I didn't like the way she used her head voice. The band played acoustics quite well and we all had a few sips of margarita so these things started to not matter much. That night ended with the heaviest heart. It's been a long time since I cried like a river. My shirt was wet and I slept with the puffiest eyes.

The next morning was filled with surprises. I woke up with the lightest feeling as if my heart lost a few pounds. There was so much hope though it remains hope until now. I met up with one of my old friends. He had a few hours waiting before his next flight to that other part of the world. It was chocolate drink again for me and some cheesecake. We called his girlfriend and felt how my cousin is starting to miss him. I feel for everyone who leaves home every time. But that small streak of light peeking through this opaque envelope over me tells me he is going to be fine.

Last weekend was a mess in my head but a beautiful one. I do not desire living the rest of my life just hanging out with friends over coffee but right now it does work for me. Life after 30 is happening now and every moment and decision seem to affect me more than it used to.

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