03 December 2011

The Amateur

She wakes up at around 6:30 AM in the morning or occasionally after about two snoozes on the alarm later. She gets a quick bath and goes combs her hair on her way down in the lift just to save time. As soon as she reaches her office cubicle, she reads through some email and scans for anything that requires her immediate attention. Thirty minutes later, she enters the lab. Her transformation into a lab rat commences and she is barely seen sitting her cubicle for the rest of the day.

She resumes her human form usually after 6 PM to catch the bus to the train station. The bus captain would be very much disgusted if he finds a rat aboard his ship. An hour later, she reaches home and crawls into her bed in 15 minutes from the the moment she dropped her bag on the floor tile. She lays like a snake and switches on the laptop. She notices the Facebook page as one of her most frequently visited sites but ignores it. Random live streams of other human being's is usually not very interesting to her. Instead, she browses through Flickr's Explore pages and builds up her happiness. Her roommate watches videos of wannabee professional singers but she prefers to just listen and not engage. She fears of shaking the notes in a song.

On some nights, she decides to dance as if she was in a disco club. Sweat rolls down her body but not as smoothly since there is bulge in the midsection which was quite difficult to get rid of. She gets tired and her head starts to ache. The bed becomes seemingly more attractive than the music through her ear and so curls up in a warm blanket and shut the eyes.

Her weekend mornings usually starts with a feeling of being unattached, like a light feather in midair.

Last night's Harry Potter movie made her like Severus more than any other character. Acquaintance with food was too short and just enough to stop the stomach from complaining. Water fell from the sky like a bomb and the rest of her day seemed ruined. She revisited a blog which she found too interesting to ignore. Reading it made her feel like an amateur in most things she does. She decided to visit her own blog to write, hoping to become a better amateur. She wonders if the tenses in the paragraphs are correct but decides to publish it anyway.


  1. Hi Kim, if this is your daily routine, you might find yourself getting burned out soon. (Believe me, I've been there many times, ask Baktin.)

    My remedy is to find out what things make my heart come alive and do which are most doable an any time I find myself becoming a rat. One thing is usually enough, combining two makes things better and fast, three things or more for severe cases. :)

    I found that doing more of the things that make my heart come alive actually made me feel... alive.

    Hope your Christmas plans are coming together as you want it to be.


  2. Hi Kim, if used a masculine pronoun, you could have described my usual day too. I just would like you to know that you are not alone. I sometimes feel sh*tty even amidst the comforts of this world or the company of good friends or the thrill of getting to a new place or climbing another mountain peak.

    But I'd like you to continue to hope, no matter what. Hope is as real as a glorious sunset, a surprising text message from an old friend or a few lines in an episode from a cheesy TV series. Sometimes, it is in these kind of situations I find myself crying or smiling. And for some strange reason, I am relieved and comforted.

    Isaiah 40:30-31