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I clumsily hit the publish button while I was on the bus and had to edit this post. I had to look at my fingers and realized they are fat. I mean they really are fatter than the average fingers but they really seem fatter. The fat finger syndrome my friend talk about now makes sense. I did gain a lot of weight since I moved to this urban jungle and who wouldn’t. I’m actually eating cheese balls while typing this. Go figure.
Back to the topic of Christmas just passing by, I did enjoy it. It just seemed that the days slipped away so fast. We ate, danced, drank and video-taped ourselves. Not the likes of Paris Hilton’s videos though. Boring and uninteresting versions of reality shows is more like it. I’m planning to publish it in FB or YouTube but there’s this private side of me that always resists. Yet, I’m still not totally convinced that I keep the videos to myself. The irony though is that I am part of this whole public blogging thing that goes out to anyone – stalker or not - who has access to the internet. My train of thought is not usually like this but tonight seems to be the perfect time to just let it all out. After all, the year is ending and I have just a little over 24 hours before the year 2011. Just add 1 and that would be 2012. They say something's supposed to happen in 2012. Lets talk about that a year from now.
The bus was approaching my stop and I hurriedly walked to the exit door while the driver hit the brakes which was the real reason for me to accidentally press the publish button thus having the first part of this post to go online first. The "fat fingers" version is partly true but I just expounded more on the fingers because they really are turning fatter everyday. As I stepped out of the bus, this funny thought of feeling cool the first time I learned the word “cannabis sativa” because I thought it was “privileged” information, suddenly came into my mind. Couldn’t help but laugh about how uncool I was when I was in high school. Can’t blame me. Life was tough and at that time I felt that I had no right to enjoy. Things have changed now though I have not really gone the opposite way. I’m still serious but I’ve found ways to enjoy life. Talking about life, I felt like giving up on it this morning. Can’t blame me, again. The moment was just too hard to bear – reports that needed to be done are piling up. I actually stayed late at work today but the silent hall and dimmed lights were giving me the creeps. The guard who was doing his rounds eventually turned the lights off on me and I had to yell from the other end of the hall and wave my hand just to let him know that I’m not leaving the room anytime soon. But only about 30 minutes after the guard left and I could not hear anything but myself typing on the keyboard. It was clear that I was totally alone and that the big bosses who usually work late are enjoying their vacation. So I hurried out of my cubicle and headed for the light switches, closed the door and reached the exit in no time.
The streets were lonelier than usual and still hadn’t sank into my mind that New Year’ Eve is tomorrow night. I even replied to a friend chatting with me to have an “advance” Happy New year. I usually use the word “advance” if the event doesn’t happen anytime soon.
I thought of cheese-flavoured corn chips on my way home and after a little battle in my mind, decided to take another route. I stopped at the mall so I could hang out in the arts department in the bookstore for a bit. The place was packed mostly with kids and parents and I thought that maybe there’s some school thing going on that I wasn’t aware about. Still the light bulb above my head didn’t light up. Just now I realized those people could be having their last minute holiday shopping.
I hung out with the crayons and the colored pencils for a bit as if they were my friends. Blame my human friends for being so far away from me right now. Yesterday, I also spent time with some art friends at a more socially upscale place. The stuff were expensive too so I decided to just get myself a bunch of painting sheets for my housemates and some pastel paper.
The cheese-flavored chips kept lingering in my mind though I have munched on two different kinds of cheese breads before I went inside the bookstore. To satisfy the need, I went to the “Dollar” store to grab some of my favourite chips. Disappointed that they didn’t have the exact brand I wanted, I decided to go for other favourites that are always in my top ten list. I also grabbed some cheap drinks and headed for the counter. The edges of my mouth curved fell when I saw the end of the line was as long as the width of one wall of the grocery store. I dropped the groceries and went to the bus station. While waiting, I went online in FB just to check the statuses. I have more than 500 friends (actually had to verify that information just to make sure) but it still feels lonely when everybody seems to be talking to the wall and people aren’t really interacting or socializing, if that is the right word. I went online in yahoo instead and ah, I finally have my real friends. It’s funny how we have this kind of sorting. There are still some of them in the list though that still seem like strangers to me. But hey, nobody’s really hurting me so just keep them in the list for now.
So I arrived home and felt the emptiness as soon as I stepped inside. My cute little niece went back home yesterday. I miss her smile. Her smile is like cheese balls - cute and just pleasing. I headed to the kitchen and reached for the cupboard. Took the can, opened the lid and the cheese balls melt in my mouth like they always do. The feeling of heaven followed.
I’m still not sure where to spend the last night of my life in the year 2010 and if this post ever made sense. My 2010 has been great, like what life's supposed to be, and I would like to thank the whole world for that. Wherever I will be tomorrow, I hope they have anything like cheese balls.
I have tons of photos but not sure which one fits my 2010 best so I'll have to leave this post graphics-free. And there's no better time than now to say "Pictures will follow."
Want to keep it classic so, have a Happy New Year everyone!
BTW, the spell check on is crazy, they’re turning my some of my American spellings to British.